Becoming

It is extremely easy, when you are young, to allow all the wrong things to define who you are. I suspect the same is true even for older people, but luckily I’m not quite old enough to confirm that. Then again, I’m 25. That’s old relative to some, isn’t it?

By now I “should” know certain things. Things like: what I want to be now that I’m grown up (because OMG I am grown up), where I stand on touchy issues (gay marriage, the migrant crisis, to be or not to be a Belieber), how I like to have my coffee (any self-respecting adult knows this, k), who I’m voting for in 2016 (yikes), and even who I want to spend the rest of my life with (double yikes).

I don’t have “answers” for more than half of those things. And I won’t waste time in making a rather obvious point here: Even if I had the answers, they wouldn’t define me. My opinions and desires count for a lot, but they don’t constitute my entire being. They are not (and will never be) static. I am not static.

What sucks is that society seeks — almost demands— certainty. Certainty makes others feel comfortable. It allows them to place you in the world. It’s an I know what you do therefore I know who you are way of thinking; grossly oversimplified of course, but you get what I mean.

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The Sunday Currently Vol. 2

outofoz

Reading

Out of Oz, the fourth and final book in Gregory Maguire’s Wicked Years. I find these books so emotionally charged that I’ve had to take breaks between each of them. The shortest break was between A Lion Amon Men (the third book) and this one because that seemed to be the transitory book. As with all good series’s, I’m both looking forward to and dreading turning the last page.

Writing

Lately, lots of lists.

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The Sunday Currently Vol. 1

DSC02920I enjoy reading other people’s “Sunday Currently” posts, so I thought I’d give it a go. Can’t assure you that mine will be interesting, but here it goes!

Reading

A collection of Octavio Paz’s essays. I am admittedly unfamiliar with his body of work but am enjoying his litcrit so far. Also loving the Saga of The Swamp Thing for my bedtime read. I’m new to the world of comics (so no, I am not familiar with all the complexities of the different universes — I have a general idea of them though), but already I get the feeling that you can’t go wrong with anything Moore touches.

Writing

Uhm, this post? This is a funny question. Haha.

Listening

Listening to my neighbour’s fountain, I suppose. And the random sounds of my house at 12 noon on a Sunday. I rarely ever play music in my room and I don’t like having the TV on in the background. (Silence is my friend.) 

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Checking In

Hello – it’s been a while! I didn’t want to jump right back into beauty reviews after the little unintended hiatus I took, so I thought I would do a little catching up post first.

Life (outside of beauty blogging) has been quite chill and all sorts of happy of late. Allow me to remind anyone who missed the news that I officially found myself free of the clutches of law school in March, but I began moving my life’s direction away from it in October of last year. I still often think of life in terms of “when I was suffering in law school” and “life after the inferno law school” because it was that traumatising. But! I did slowly start to feel more like myself again once I allowed myself to really let go.

I had forgotten, while in law school, how good life can be. I started reading again — and I mean really reading, because six hours a day dedicated to reading cases is nothing compared to a solid hour or two with some real literature. I have time to write now, and along with reading that nourishes my soul. I can also finally focus on my health by making my yoga practice a priority for the sake of both my physical and spiritual wellbeing. And thanks to all of those things, I stopped being so angry all the time.

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Filter x2

I had absolutely nothing planned for this afternoon, so I decided it would be a good time to catch up on photographing things for the blog. I sat down to do my makeup even if I wasn’t going anywhere and I tried to use as many new products as possible so that I could photograph multiple things in one go.

I don’t normally do that sort of thing…wear makeup without plans of going out, that is. It feels strange and I guess that’s part of reason why the look didn’t turn out well. Or maybe it would have turned out just as bad even if I had had plans of going out — who knows? Anyway, none of the photos I took are usable for review purposes. I slapped a filter on the best one and that’s the only thing that made it better:
DSC01670This is one of the filters that comes with iPhoto and it’s quite heavy. There’s no toggling with the intensity like on Instagram. It brings my dull skin to life and masks the mess I made of my eyeshadow today. It’s certainly not realistic, but it actually makes me like the photo. Now here’s the original: 

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What I’ve Been Up To

…because believe it or not, I have not fallen off the face of the earth!

I do think that what I’ve been going through over the past few weeks qualifies as “blogger burnout.” It all just got very tiring and not fun at all. So I took a break and worried at first that I would suffer for it. Then I decided to just let go of the damn anxiety because I practically live my entire life with a stick up my ass. Relaxing and going with the flow do not come naturally to me – even my down time is planned out if I have any say in it (and I make sure I do).

So it’s been a good couple of weeks of no-pressure living in the “beauty blogger” aspect of my life. I’ve enjoyed it immensely but you will be glad to know that just the other day I visited Rustan’s and got that feeling for the first time in a long time — the uncontrollable, completely illogical, and all-too-familiar feeling that I MUST. HAVE. ALL. THE. MAKEUP. It’s not even a thought, guys. It is a feeling.

Beauty-related posts will resume shortly, but for now let me fill you in on all the other incredibly interesting (not really) stuff that goes on in my life. I’ve been:

namaste

Keeping my yoga practice alive

Man, I love yoga. It started with Bikram some three years ago, but now I’m getting into the other variations/types and I’m loving how much there is to learn about the body and explore in the mind.

A good friend also started practicing at the same studio I go to recently and although I usually like my alone time at yoga, I do like having her around. Sharing good energy is always awesome.

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This Post Contains No Pictures

I do have an excuse for not posting any new content lately. I had an ugly reaction to a concealer I was testing out early this week and I ended up with red, itchy, painful splotches all over my face. My face is still red and rough in some areas so I wasn’t going to photograph that, much less apply even more (potentially irritating) makeup on top of it.

But you know that’s a bullshit excuse, right?

There are many ways I could have prepared so that this page didn’t go silent. I could have thought ahead and had a few posts queued up (I don’t really like queueing posts although I see how it makes sense). I could have posted some reviews with photos of products alone (who needs to see my face all the time anyway?). Arm swatches do the job well enough most of the time.

Truth be told, I just wasn’t feeling it this week.

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In Print

When I was in high school, my biggest dream was to be a “real” writer. And what I thought being a “real” writer meant was to be a published author, a poet, essayist, a literary critic… the kind of writer that produces substantial content, be it artistic or critical. You probably already know where I’m going with this considering that there’s a photo of a magazine below. I never thought that writing for magazines was “real” writing. To my mind, being involved with that sort of fluff meant selling out.P1180211

I knew I was being completely elitist but I was not willing to change my views. Real writing just couldn’t be found in fashion or lifestyle magazines—really, how could it? But then I realised (gradually, definitely not over night) that every single person who wrote for those publications was more of a writer than I. I allowed the writer in me to die the moment I stopped practicing the craft and sat on my lazy ass, expecting a literary masterpiece to brew over the years even without putting the work in. Writing is about sitting down and doing just that, and then maybe trying to get your work published and read.

The truth is that you can find good (and yes: real) writing in all sorts of mediums, although I will still insist that our local publications have quite a way to go in terms of overall quality. But then who am I to say such a thing? Not a writer, for sure. A critical reader, maybe. Still, not a writer. Hence, this:

P1180207I actually freakin’ wrote something for a publication so totally out of my comfort zone. And I liked the process. And I’m flattered to see my name in print again (it’s been years). And I don’t feel like I’ve sold out because even though I had to alter my voice a bit to suit the magazine and accept some minor edits, it’s still my work. It was a nice exercise in writing and I missed that so much without knowing it.

Becoming a writer is still my biggest dream and while I’m not saying that this particular piece is phenomenal (or even very good), it takes me one step closer to seeing myself as a writer again.

I’ve cropped out the article and left my big-ass fez in there so that if you are so inclined, you can pick up Cosmopolitan’s March issue and give the piece a read. It’s mostly about girls not being able to take a compliment, but there are some bits in there about the local beauty blogging world as well. Most of it was cut out because there was a word limit, but I’m genuinely interested to hear your  personal thoughts on the beauty blogging atmosphere in the Philippines.

Right. A post that was simply meant to say “Please pick up a copy of Cosmopolitan’s March issue turned into this. Haha! Thanks as always for reading my personal ramblings if you have made it this far!

The Birthday Weekend: 2015

Hey guys! I turned 25 over the weekend (I was born on Valentine’s Day, 1990) and I thought I would share a little bit of what I did to celebrate. I am the type of person who rather likes celebrating birthdays (i.e. I don’t shrink away when people start singing “Happy Birthday” to me. Being an only child usually means you actually like being the center of attention.) so my 25th was not going to pass by without a nice dinner or two, plus a family lunch.

(Warning: picture heavy post ahead!)

February 13, Friday

KicIMG_8825ked off the weekend with the sight of this handsome fella with a beautiful red tulip in hand. People always tease Greg that having a girlfriend whose birthday falls on Valentine’s Day must be a pain in the butt. I think he’s pretty lucky that he can roll the two celebrations into one because even if I weren’t a V-day baby I would totally still expect to be treated to a nice dinner, haha.

As for flowers, he’s learned that red roses are just grossly overpriced on V-day, so I’ve received so many different types from him in their stead. I think the red tulip was one of my faves, though.

Greg came dressed in a pale pink button-down while I wore a pleated pink andIMG_8817 maroon (marsala?) dress from BCBG Max Azria and a pair of rose gold Charles and Keith heels. My envelope bag is from Zara and you can’t really see it but my jewellery was also all rose gold. We looked slightly cliché in our pink outfits, but that’s just the way I like it!

I rarely ever talk about my fashion choices because I can be rather boring, but for special occasions I like to bust out the really pretty pieces. It’s still arguably “boring” as I never go for anything trendy, but that’s my fashion sense for you. I felt great and the dress left me enough space to indulge in the food. Speaking of the food…

IMG_8794Duck confiiiiit at Duck & Buvette! We had to get the duck as it was our first time there. We also had the roasted romaine salad (the best salad from a resto I’ve had in a long while), some sort of potato with salted egg salad, and a carafe of white wine. I liked that the place wasn’t too dressy or stuffy (the restaurant is just inside Shangri-La mall) and that it was really just about good food and excellent coffee. 

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